What should we pray for and how should we do it?
This entry isn’t for the prayer specialist.
I thought it might be helpful for those who have never done a synthetic
study of prayer in the New Testament.
The New Testament has several different
words for prayer, each nuancing various meanings (e.g., intercession or
thanksgiving). Yet, I’m not interested in talking about every instance of
prayer in the New Testament right now. Of course, prayer is most certainly not about asking God for a bunch of stuff. In fact, communion with God doesn't have to involve one question at all. Remember when you used to court your spouse or romantic interest? We didn't sit around asking for stuff all the time. The other person's presence and approval was paramount, not having the person do something for us. Simultaneously, however, there are time when we are encouraged to approach God the Father as a God who wants to give us Himself. And giving Himself will involve doing certain things for us. So, for this post, I am only interested in asking the question: “Are there certain things we should not ask God for or certain things we should be asking?”
James, the brother of Jesus, wrote to his
fellow sisters and brothers in Christ and said, “You do not have,
because you do not ask [God in prayer]. You ask and do not receive, because you
ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions” (4:2c-3, ESV)
I don’t intend for the following list to be
exhaustive, but it gives us a good skeleton of a possible answer to this
question. First, we need to remember that prayer, in essence, just means
having a conversation with God. Our goal is to converse with Him.
And all conversations involve numerous aspects: talking, listening,
praising, critiquing, loving, etc. So it is with God and humans. We
ought to think that God is our loving Father who wants to hear from us and
speak with us. For some people, and perhaps you’re one, your parent(s)
set an awful example of what a loving parental figure is. I am deeply
sympathetic. However, I encourage you: please give God a chance.
Read the Bible and see what kind of God He is.
Secondly, whatever the New Testament says,
it should always be compared to the ministry of Jesus so that we don’t take a
verse out of theological context. Of course there’s more to it than that,
but I hope you’ll grant me mercy at this point for now.
Sometimes, I tell my kids, “Don’t even ask
me. Don’t even bring it up.” It might involve a toy or certain
treat that we’ve already discussed or the request might be so unethical that I
won’t even entertain the idea. The same is true for God.
Do not ask
God to be involved in
- Your
sinful passions (Ja
4:3). This can involve passion “of the flesh” or any type of passion
(anything that involves competition, whether it’s sports or job
advancement)
- Other
people’s downfall or destruction. This is clearly un-Christian.
Then, there are other things that we can ask
for, just knowing they are not God’s chief concern. What’s
so sad is that the following three things are what I hear Christians ask for
the most throughout all my life (including myself!):
- Physical
healing (Ja
5:14-16). Yes, James says to ask for healing if/when we need it.
Yet, we must never forget that Jesus and the early apostles did not
have an entire ministry of healing. Jesus was not chiefly interested in
healing all the sick or demon-possessed or wounded. He did heal
sometimes, yes. But, it was clearly not His chief concern.
Jesus was well-aware that we, while in this body, will get sick and
die. We can ask God for physical healing and sometimes He does grant
it. Just know that for most of the time, His answer will be no.
- Physical
safety (but see
2 Tim 3:12). Paul seems to imply this at different times when he
says in passing that he prayed that God would allow him to make it to
different places in Asia Minor during his missionary tours. Yet,
again, we must remember that our physical safety is simply not near the
top of God’s concerns. People do get hurt, raped, and wounded every
day. Of course God grieves over the evil we do to each other, and
the suffering caused by natural disasters. On top of that, we are
guaranteed suffering when we act like Jesus’ disciples. But
again, while in this body, we will get sick and die. The
ultimate physical safety will come in the world to come.
- General
success; things “going well” (3 Jn 1:2). Of course God
is interested in the success of those things He orchestrates. The
key here is to ask for God to make something successful as long as
it’s what God wants. Just because we really want something to go
well doesn’t mean that God does.
Notice how financial gain didn’t
even make that list? I heard Joel Osteen say on his program one Sunday
that God wants every person to own their own home. This is mere nonsense. It’s such a shame that
the billions of people who will never have access to a house, and the hundreds
of millions (if not billions) of people who live in apartments, are
consistently missing out on this "God-ordained promise" to his creatures. I
can’t recall where this was in the Bible.
What about the manner we
should speak to God?
Do talk with God
- Without
any desire to be seen as pious (Matt 6:5). Ever heard people who
seem to be really, really aware that people were listening? What a waste
of energy. Do we really think that people can make a difference in
what we’re asking for? So, we just can’t forget: we’re speaking and
listening to God. He is our audience; we are His.
- Without
formulas: be concise and sincere (Matt 6:7). Again, we don’t have to
pray for the missionaries at every prayer. Say what you mean and
mean what you say. He already knows your mind, so just tell Him.
You’ll see how good it feels to confess something to Him and you’ll see
how rewarding it is. “Lord, have mercy on me a sinner,” seemed just enough
words to work for at least one guy that Jesus praised.
- Like
you’re talking with a loving, caring, Father (Matt 6:9), not as if He is a
stranger.
Even when we are the most broken, immediately after we’ve sinned, He
welcomes us home. Act like it. Confess, repent, and receive
His love. ”Well . . . uh . . . God . . . haha . . . it’s been a long
time . . . and uh . . . Fathereth . . . . in Heaveneth . . .
hallowed be They nameth . . . on higheth . . .” Who talks like
this to someone they know and love? Do we really think that God only
understands Elizabethan English?
- In
the Holy Spirit (Jude
1:20; Rom 8:26). We ask the Spirit to speak through us so that all of our
mind/heart is known.
Do ask God:
- To
forgive your sins (Matt 5:12; acts 8:22) and other’s sins (1 Sam 7:5). Ever
wonder why you don’t feel close to a person you love? It’s almost always
because there is something unresolved between you two. Wonder why you
don’t feel close to God? It’s probably because of sin.
- For
daily–not monthly or yearly or for retirement–needs to be met (Matt
6:11).
- For
wisdom (Ja 1:5).
- to
know how to avoid temptation (Mk 14:38; Matt 6:13) and
- to
know what is right and the courage to do it (2 Cor 13:7; 2 Thess 1:11-12)
- For
God’s will to be known and done through His creatures (Matt 6:10; Mk
14:36; Col 1:9).
- For
all the fruit of the Spirit—anything that causes you to develop virtues
(Gal 5:22).
- For
comfort (2 Cor 1:3-4) , joy and peace (Rom 15:13; 1 Cor 14:33).
- For
God to do for your enemies and those who persecute you, exactly what
you’re asking for Him to do for you (Lk 6:28). Did this
last one stun you a little bit? It did me! ”And God, whatever
I just asked you for, ditto that for my worst enemies.” Until we can
pray such a prayer we have no idea what the mind of Christ is (1 Cor 2:16;
Phil 2:5).
In general, God is much more
interesting in shaping you into a particular kind of person with particular
virtues than He is with anything else. This is precisely why He can
take any evil done to us and any bad news we hear and any suffering we
experience and work it out in the end. We are His raw material to shape
and to mold.
That’s all for now. Perhaps we’ll
close with a model prayer (and that’s what this is, a model, an example of the
kinds of prayers we should be giving):
(My translation)
Our Father who is in Heaven,
Your name be holy, Your Kingdom come,
Your will be done on Earth as it is Heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive our sins
as much as we have forgiven those
who have sinned against us.
And do not bring us into testing,
but rescue us from evil.
Amen.
For the Kingdom,
David
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