"Can homosexuals be Christians?" A conversation with a friend.
Hello pastor David i
have questions to ask you. Now as Christians we do not agree nor believe
in homosexuality. (1) However can homosexuals be Christians? (2) if god made us
in his image why does homosexuality exist? (3) can you be born gay?
(4) if we should love our people as we love yourself should we love homosexual people as well? (5) why are fellow Christians so hard on homosexuals but we are suppose to love every?
I am curious about these
questions because as a Christian i want to know how to act tore homosexuals. I
know i shouldn't condemn them but what should i do? Or how should i act around
them?
Hey
brother!
These
are great questions and evoke intense anger, frustration, and fear for a lot of
people. I can't stand to think of all the homosexuals who have been hurt and killed out of stupid hate acts. So, I don’t talk about this lightly. I’ll just respond to each one in
order if that’s cool.
(1) However can homosexuals be
Christians? Yes. You said that “we do not agree nor believe in homosexuality,” which is
true if nuanced: the Christian view according to the New Testament is that homosexual behavior is sinful. So, attraction is
irrelevant ethically-speaking; the ethical issue only concerns behavior. (My desire to lie is not the
same as actually lying.)
Now,
some Christians have argued that it’s only because of the sinful state of
humans that a person would even want to
do what is sinful. Perhaps they’re right. In any case, what’s much more
clear is that the behavior is the issue, not the attraction.
This
is a very huge point to articulate well: The average non-Christian makes no
distinction between attraction and behavior. Really based on the
ground-breaking Kinsey Reports (1950s) which stated that if humans do it, and
it doesn’t hurt anyone, then it’s “only natural” to act out sexually however
you want. And I would completely concur
with them if I shared their worldview: If there is no God, then there is no
higher design to human behavior, so it doesn’t matter what you do.
Moreover, it is commonplace among many secular psychologists to suggest that if
you don’t act out sexually how you feel so inclined, it is unhealthy for you;
it damages you. Both of these views (that there is no distinction between
attraction and behavior, and it’s unhealthy if you don’t act on your impulses)
is clearly unchristian.
**We must constantly remember that in nearly every single conversation you ever have with a gay person, that person will almost certainly assume that their inclination means they must act on it. They join disposition with behavior. This is huge distinction with the Christian worldview. (The truth is, this emphasis upon "only doing what comes naturally" only holds for certain acts of sexuality. You’ll find few
non-Christians who suggest that if a person has an attraction toward his baby
sister that he should certainly proceed in having sex with her (no matter how
much they say they love each other). Pedophiles are kept in separate regions of prisons because they
are routinely beaten and killed. It seems even the worst criminals believe that
“attraction” doesn’t mean you “give in.”)
(2) if god made us in his
image why does homosexuality exist? Idols/images
in the ancient world were used to represent the god’s authority in that region.
Being made in the “image of God” (Gen 1:26) only means one particular thing in
context: humans represent God’s authority
to rule over animals, plants, and the Earth. This is profound in the
ancient world. Other creation stories said that humans were created to serve
their gods as slaves. Not so among ancient Hebrews. So, this text has nothing
to do with sexual orientation.
(3) can you be born gay? I think you mean by “born gay” that a person has a
genetic disposition. If so, it’s certainly possible. There doesn’t seem to be a
“gay gene” (no evidence of that exists at this point). However, certainly our
brain produces various chemicals and hormones that affect our attractions.
That, mixed with all kinds of social influences, no doubt affect our
orientation (straight and gay). So, I don’t think it’s unlikely that our
genetic make-up greatly affects our attractions. Again, they don’t determine our
behavior, just our attractions.
(4) if we should love our people as we love yourself should we love homosexual people as well? Great question: YES! YES! Jesus didn’t say to love our heterosexual neighbor as ourselves. He said to love our neighbor (Mk 12:29-31). What did Jesus mean? To care for their good as much as we care for our own good. Care about shelter? Help them find it. Care about food? Help them find it. Care about healthy relationships? Help them find it. And so on. This goes for our enemies (Matt 5:44), gays, murderers, gossips, etc. If we only attempt to “love” people who don’t sin, or even don’t have inclinations!, then we won’t be loving anyone! Nor will anyone love you and me.
(5) why are fellow Christians
so hard on homosexuals but we are suppose to love every? Another great question. I think it’s for two reasons:
(a)
Certain Christians are simply keenly aware that homosexual behavior isn’t what
God designed the human machine to do, and they get “worked up” about it. This can
happen when we think about those who murder, lie, cheat, steal, whatever.
(b)
Mainly, I think, it’s just easy to do so. Humans tend to pick on people who are
easily definable. It’s one reason why it was easy for the Nazis to pick on the
Jews. As soon as we can label a “group” as the “bad guy,” it gets the focus off
of our sins. It helps us to change the spotlight.
One
really sad thing about this fact is that the
Bible doesn’t pick on homosexuals. While there is certainly a constant theme against that behavior (Lev
18:22; 20:13; Matt 19:3-12; Rom 1:26-27; 1 Cor 6:9-10; 1 Tim 1:8-10), that behavior is most certainly NOT considered
one of the “biggies.” All sins are not on the same level of severity or influence
as is made clear from multiple passages, like Jesus speaking vehemently against
blaspheming (Mk 3:29) or causing a “little one” to sin (Matt 18:6). While all
sins matter—yes!—Christians should remember which sins are actually emphasized in the New Testament. Again, notice what kinds
of things are considered sinful in the repeated lists: Mark
7:21-22; Rom. 1:29-31; 13:13; 1 Cor 5:10-11; 6:9-10; 2 Cor 6:9-10; 12:20-21;
Gal. 5:19-21; Eph. 4:31; 5:3-5; Col. 3:5; 3:8; 1 Tim. 1:9-10; 2 Tim 3:2-5;
Titus 3:3; James 3:15; 1 Pet. 2:1; 4:3; 4:15; Rev. 9:21; 21:8; 22:15.
I am curious about these
questions because as a Christian i want to know how to act tore homosexuals. I
know i shouldn't condemn them but what should i do? Or how should i act around
them? Treat them as you want to be treated (Matt
7:12). Really, it’s that simple. Love them (= care for their good) as you love
yourself (Mk 12:31). Lead by example. Pray for them. There is absolutely no room whatsoever for making fun of them, insulting them, hurting them, making jokes on their behalf, or any other insulting, demeaning, or devaluing behavior. If they ask you what you believe,
then tell them the truth with gentleness
(Gal 6:1). If a gay person lives out that lifestyle and embraces homosexual behavior, then you will disagree with them, yes. But, it sure is difficult to get that wood chip in their eye when you and I have our own
planks to deal with (Matt 7:3)! Leave their behavior and what God does with
them up to God. God designed us and only God will judge us in the end. So, get
busy loving them, speaking the truth in love when needed, and leave the fate of
their souls up to the One who owns us all: God.
